Since my husband is gone I have increased feelings of depression. The way that I keep from feeling sad is I keep busy. I go and visit family and this year I went motorcycle riding with my dad. I don't let the feelings of sadness get to me during this season. I do cry at times, but not all the time.

My first blog was "What makes a person enjoyable to be around." I really don't know how to continue it, but I will say it again that I think it is all about personality. If you fit in you fit in if you don't you don't... I never fit in so it works for me.

This is an issue that I have been struggling with for a very long time. I have never felt that I have ever 'fit in" as they say, anywhere. the closest that I fell to fitting in was when I lived in texas and it took almost a year before I felt like I did, but now that I have moved I don't feel like I fit in there either. I live with someone else and just moved so I lost the home I knew and this doesn't feel like home here yet so I kind of feel like I don't have a home. I know that I am moving again next year so I am trying not to get to comfortable. BUT I do have a home and a place that I fit in... I belong with my husband. He is my everything and I can't wait for him to get back from over seas. I love him and where ever he is that is where I am home, that is where I fit in, and that is where I belong.

I worry about everything so most of the time I am worrying about something. These days I soend most of my time worrying about my huband. I am very worried about him and I love him so much and miss him. I haven't heard from him in a while so I am a little worried, but unless it is him I don't want to hear anything because I will be very sad considering it would mean he would be dead so I can wait to hear from him and really can't wait. If you knew me I am sure you would be sick of hearing about him. I love him so much.

I am looking forward to school and my husband coming home for R&R, but the thing I am looking for the most this year is the end. I can't wait for the end of the year, even though it just started, because that means mi hubito comes home. I am so excited... I love you baby.

No lieing, no cheating, no stealing, and no mean behavior. They have to have morals and be a good person. Honestly I trust very few people. Once someone breaks my trust it takes alot to get it back 100 percent. If I give you a second chance and you break it that is it. Don't ever try.

Yes to an extent. I would love to have a normal schedual for more than a year. It seems that every year something new happens and everything changes. So once things stablize I am sure that I will become the creature of habit I wish to be.

Kenny... when I am cooking and he comes over hugs me from behind and kisses my cheek. When we are walking and he grabs my hand. When we are driving and he grabs my hand... When he gets my attentions just to look my in the eye. When he asks me to go some where with him... Which almost never happens, but thats okay. When he says he loves me and I know he means every word.

I really don't like meeting people. I rather go to a club with people I already know and then meet people they know so I guess that is how I like to meet people. Woopie doo.

I suprise myself everyday. Today I relized that I totally suck at driving and talking on the phone. Yesterday I realized that somedays I can be happy and I am not always miserable. Which is shocking. And I think that I am getting more comfortable about my husband not coming back. Which I don't want to happen but it is something I have to be prepared for. And him cheating on me is something I might accept because I am afraid to be alone.

This is another question that I have been trying to figure out my whole life... Not so much what would I fight for, but what would I fight for that actually mean something.

I wouldn't suggest my job to anyone. LOL, I don't work right now and I am loving it.

The fact that I can no longer stay to be in bed.

The hardest thing to change is another person. Whether it is a behavior, a bad habit, or an opinion. Another person is the hardest person to change because no matter what you do they will do what they want and sometimes they don't even give a fuck about you.